Chapter 5 – Happy NY

Writing this on the last day of 2023, a lot of things happened that are way way out of expectation, that I never thought would happen at all. Yes, starting the year in January 2023 I never thought that ending this year would result in me and you being together in this relationship and both of us leaving our unhappy marriage. In a way, things just flowed naturally for me, I never set out and plan for all these to happen, it just happened. Although I have to admit that it was me who started all these; having the courage to pursue you, to care for you, and to bring you into my heart. At the same time, it didn’t feel forced at all, it all felt so natural. Every time when I am with you, it feels so good, so nice, so warm. Talking to you felt so natural, so weird at the same time because there are laughters and jokes and serious talks and banter among us. I just love being with you in all moments.

I hope that as we cross into the new year, our things can be settled promptly so that all parties can move ahead with our lives, especially you and me. There will be some hiccups along the way I’m sure, hopefully nothing too serious though. I know you’re getting tired of these stressful times and want it over as soon as possible, I feel the same way too. After the storm comes the rainbow and blue skies, it’s just how the world works. The later part of 2023 brings a lot of drama and uncertainty, 2024 will certainly bring joy and stability. I’m sure of that. We just have to be patient and reap the rewards of our patience.

I would like to reiterate and reassure you that my love for you is true and pure. There is no sinister purpose in what I do for you. Everything I say and said and do for you is really out of pure love, nothing less than that. You asked me last night, will I be cheating you? I’m not a millionaire (yet) and I’m not a playboy. So how could I be cheating you? I met you by chance. Had feelings for you by chance. Fell in love with you by fate. There is no malicious intention. Everything happens for a reason. You always said I could read your mind, read how you feel, read what you’re doing and such. It’s purely because I feel you, I feel like I’m somehow connected to you for a reason. And this reason is what I’m unable to explain why I can have so much feelings for you, why am I in love with you so much. Yes, even if you ask me a thousand times a million times why I love you so much, I can’t explain fully. I just… really really love you.

Surely there will be ups and downs as we go along in our relationship, but let’s take this opportunity to learn from each other, to show understanding of each other, to show tolerance of each of our habits and everything, so that we as a couple can grow everyday. Can we do that, please? I know I’ve been lacking in patience sometimes, and I don’t want to make excuses for it. This lack of patience is the cause of some of our unhappy moments (although just a few hours) that I am yet to be able to control. I will strive to be better and be less disappointed.

You bring a level of warmth and sweetness that I have never felt before in my life. Your actions, the way you twitch your eyebrows, the way you speak, your voice, everything is just so perfect to me. I wish that I could have more of all this everyday, but I don’t want to be greedy and spoil everything. As we move towards that 70/30 balance, I feel it’s important to also recognize the fact that we’ve come a long way to even start this relationship, and should try our best to maintain and grow this relationship, no matter what. People give up too easily nowadays, ours will not do this.

It still feels unbelievable to me, the way things are going. My heart feels so warm and contented with the way you look at me when we’re together. It gives off such a surreal, lovely feel that no words can describe. I don’t mind having you look at me like this always, everyday, forever. I know much has been said in these few months, and I’ve done a few things that convinced you of my love for you, but in 2024, there are still a lot more to come. We will build our own little story together, find our own little adventure, and build our own life journey from here on. I want to invite you onto this journey, to be with me, to feel what it’s like to be a happy woman that’s properly pampered and loved by her partner, over and over and over again. I want you and I love you, Zerline.

Here’s to a wonderful 2024,

Alan

31/12/2023

5:40pm