Chapter 3 – 永远属于你

Zerline,

Tonight is a weird night. You went to sleep at around 9pm probably because you woke up too early to try to work, and then spent the whole day at the salon trying not to fall asleep. So here I am, feeling a little lost because we used to chat every morning till night without fail, and suddenly I feel empty without your nightly chats. That got me thinking just now, about how much I have grown and accepted you into my life, and our daily routines. Hence without the chats, (today is significantly less because of your activities), a part of me, a part of my routine has broken, and that makes most of the day and the whole night weird for me. This is not a complain though, this is me realizing just how comfortable I am being with you, although not physically, but through our daily and nightly chats, just how amazing we have come to be closer to each other. Just imagine how much more amazing when we have the chance to be closer physically. Super amazing.

Speaking about amazing, I sometimes cannot believe what an amazing woman you are. I remember you saying that you’re actually not so good, otherwise he wouldn’t have treated you as transparent (during that time when you tried to let me go, ouch!). I never believed it for even 1 second that you are not a good woman. In fact, the more I know you, the more amazing I have found out about you. To me, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s really like striking jackpot you know. You’re caring, considerate, loving, well-mannered, funny, witty, beautiful inside and outside, and have a great personality with a great and cute smile. You are my everything, and everything that I could ever hope for in a woman. I am going to say the 3 words that I hope you never get tired of hearing, and I will say them until the day I die. I love you.

How long will our relationship last? I think if we start out and think and wonder about this question, then it will not last very long indeed. Maybe the right question is how will be make our relationship last forever? If we set out and sit down and talk to each other about how we want to be treated, how we want to be understood, how we want to be cared for, how we want to be spoken to, then I can guarantee that we will grow old together, that is for sure. To me, I have found someone that I am willing to give everything for, no matter the circumstances. Thinking back again, I am glad that I didn’t give up my hope on you, and didn’t walk away when you asked me to. I’m glad that I still stuck around and I’m glad that I didn’t listen to you. Otherwise I will regret deeply and will never be able to recover.

Now that everything is much more clearer, I wish to give my promise to you once again. There might be some repetition in what I’m about to say, because I type out all these as I go along, and I didn’t have any notes or write down any points. I just type whatever that comes into my mind. So forgive me for repeating. I will always always cherish and appreciate and love and care and sayang you, for all that you have sacrificed so far, and all that you have done. I know these are still early days, and all I have so far is still words, but I hope that what I have been able to do so far has managed to show my sincerity and love towards you. With this, I hope to be able to take our young relationship to the next level, by showing you more of how I feel towards you, by trying to make you be the most hangfok woman in the world. I promise that in good or bad times, I will never abandon you. I promise that no matter what happens, I will be there for you. I promise that when things get bad, I will never walk away from you. I promise that no matter our age, I will always love you.

Fate brought us together, but it is really up to us to do what we want with this fate. I really fell head over heels over you, and I am glad that I took action to come to this stage. Otherwise, we both will still be stuck in our current situation for the next… 10 years at least. I will always be patient with you, no matter how unreasonable you might be at that moment. Deep down in my heart, words cannot even be described on how much I miss and love you at times, it’s kind of a pleasure and pain feeling at the same time. I’m like a little kid at a toy store, knowing I can get my present that is in front of me soon, but also knowing that the present is not mine yet. So I just keep waiting. You told me to be patient, and I will do that.

It’s now 12:21am as I’m writing this, but saying out what I feel surprisingly does not make me feel sleepy (maybe just a little bit), because because my thoughts are everywhere and I just pour out what I want to say. I’m waiting for the day where we can freely call each other without any restrictions, anywhere, anytime. I’m waiting for the day where I can wait to finish work so that I can spend time with you, actually with you and not through phone calls only. I’m waiting for the day where I can actually wake up next to you and look at your cute face and say good morning and plant a morning kiss on your forehead. I’m waiting for the day where I can really hug you to sleep, and make sure you sleep before I go to sleep. I’m waiting for the day where we can cuddle and do nothing, just being comfortable in each other’s arms. I’m waiting for the day where I can be with you and Vincy and your family to eat out or just chill at home. There’s lots more to come and lots more to wait, but I think you get my meaning.

So please be unreasonable with me, please include me in all of your life, because it brings so much meaning to our relationship. We might not be official yet, but we can try to learn about each other more already. I started writing at 11:45pm and it’s now 12:30am, I guess I should stop now then. My eyes are closing soon. I miss you dearly, as much as anyone could humanly miss someone. It’s still level 7, but I am much calmer now, mainly because you already gave me your assurance about your decision, and how important I am to you. And also because you started to say IMY, although not automatically but this is good enough already. I shall stop here then. I hope I get a good night’s sleep too.

永远属于你,
Alan
27 November 12:41am