Is Time To Wake Up, My Beautiful Dream

My beautiful dream has finally come to an end, and it is time to wake up.

Thank you for making me feel so cherished, protected, and cared for during that time. Thank you for allowing me, even briefly, to believe that there was someone in this world who would treat me with such lasting tenderness. These feelings are precious to me; they taught me that I, too, have been loved with true sincerity. I know I must wake up now, but my heart still aches. Letting go is far more difficult than I ever imagined. The dream has ended, and I must return to reality and continue walking my own path.

Thank you as well for patiently listening to me talk about the people and happenings at work, for listening to my endless trivial thoughts, and even for hearing me complain about reckless drivers on the road. What may have seemed insignificant or repetitive meant more to me than you knew—it made me feel accompanied in the small, ordinary moments of life. I truly loved it when you called me ‘baby.’ In that simple word, I felt like I could finally be a child again, safe and sheltered in your arms, away from the demands of the world.

I once told you how deeply I fear being isolated, which is why I have always tried to please others and place their feelings before my own. You often said that I lacked boundaries with my family and friends. I truly did not realize that my habit of constantly giving to others would eventually cause you so much pain as well. Perhaps because of this, you came to believe that you were not my priority.

The truth is, I am always “perfect” and well-behaved in front of others; but with you, I often showed my most flawed and imperfect self. It was not because you were unimportant—quite the opposite. It was because you meant everything to me.

You once said that I only reveal my truest self to those I am closest to. It was then that I realized that, with you, I had finally taken off my mask. At times I was unreasonable or moody, yet you always responded with patience, comforting me again and again. In those moments, I truly felt what it meant to be loved. I treasured the feeling of being held, understood, and cared for.

When I asked you to massage me, I was never trying to burden or mistreat you. I was simply immersing myself in the feeling of being looked after. It was my way of reassuring myself that I was loved.

I am deeply sorry. It breaks my heart that our love never received my family’s blessing. I am even more sorry that you had to carry the weight of their judgment and the difficulty of our situation.

Perhaps in their eyes, our beginning was a mistake—a married man falling in love with a married woman, both of us divorcing to be together. To them, it was a selfish choice, unworthy of support or blessing. I never realized that the weight of this reality, combined with the burden of my unguarded, vulnerable self, would one day become the reason you felt so exhausted.

I truly hope that, as you wish, you will one day find a partner who makes you feel fully prioritized—someone who places you first, without hesitation.

Zerline,
25/12/2025